"Imperfect" Meditation

I may be on the verge of over-sharing here, but I'll admit I am realllllllllllly struggling with my meditation practice. I've tried so many things....mantras, visualizations, breath-centering, everything!!!!! But somehow I cannot seem to make enough time in my day for even 5 minutes of meditation, and trust me, I have way more than 5 minutes I can spare. I actually realized that my desire to really have a perfect, ongoing, and beautiful meditation practice, was keeping me from actually having one! Most of you who know me know that I do NOT like to do things halfway...it is either all or nothing! That's just how I have always been. But, here comes the greatest part. I've realized that having this "perfect" meditation is not possible for me now, maybe not ever, but that doesn't mean that attempting to meditate in my own creative ways is not enough. Tonight as I was coming back from midtown, the train was having technical difficulties! Just my luck! The trip normally takes me 20 minutes, but tonight it took around an hour. As I was on the train, listening to some tribal music on my Ipod, I decided to close my eyes and attempt to meditate. The funny thing is that it came so naturally. Yes, I was standing up, squished by a bunch of pissed off New Yorkers, and next to a screaming child whose father was ignoring him...it was not the serene, quiet, and peaceful meditation space which I had been trying to cultivate for months in my apartment, but still, it was something. Not only did the train ride seem to go a lot quicker, but I was able to feel at peace in such a tense environment. I know this meditation story is not comparable to the stories about monks meditating for months at a time in the caves of the Himalayas, but for me it was perfect. It was my IMPERFECT meditation, and finally I am able to make peace with that.


Love, love, and more love to all of you!!!!!!!

Santosha (Contentment)

In The Yoga Sutras, Pantanjali discusses the Yamas and the Niyamas, which are part of the "eight- limb path of yoga". The second limb in this eight- limb path involves the Niyamas. One of these Niyamas is Santosha. Santosha, simply put, is contentment. He urges us to become content in our lives. Santosha is about taking all of the striving out of our lives and being content with what is. In a yoga practice, this may mean coming into a forward fold, like Pashimottanasana, without striving to hold onto the tips of our toes or our ankles. Practicing santosha in this pose would be to gently crawl your hands forwards towards your toes, and instead of reaching, grabbing, and striving to touch your toes, try just letting your hands land wherever they land and BREATHE. Sometimes, when we take all of the striving out of our yoga poses, we learn to concentrate on our breath more, instead of focusing on "getting there", whatever "there" means to you.

In life, we can practice santosha by being happy with what has been given to us in our lives. Maybe we want a better job, better relationship, better body, better grades, etc, etc...the list goes on and on. Practicing santosha in your lives is about "working with what ya got"!!!!!!!! Once we begin to see what we have in our lives, we will realize that is is a hell of a lot more than most people have in their lives. If you really want to get deep into the practice of santosha, try writing a list of everything you are grateful for in your lives. I can promise you that you will surprise yourselves with how long the list is! We have SO much more than we even realize!

I really think that cultivating santosha both on and off our yoga mats will lead us further in the direction of inner peace, and who can argue with that???